The Real King of the Jungle?
Once upon a time, there was a wolf who lived alone deep in the woods of Alaska. After a brutal blizzard, the wolf was forced to stay in his cave for several days without food. When the storm died down, he finally emerged from his home, hoping to quell his hunger and his boredom. He was walking around the forest, checking his traps for any animals. All of a sudden, he heard a voice in the woods. He cautiously walked towards the sound and saw a large antelope."Finally", he thought, "I found my dinner". As he crept closer, he saw that she was crying, and his curiosity temporarily overcame his hunger.
"Why are you so sad?", he asked. The antelope startled at the sight of a wolf but decided he didn't seem threatening.
"Today is my last day on this earth", she said with sadness in her eyes.
"Why, how can you know such a thing?", the wolf asked.
"I stumbled upon a lion caught in the hunter's trap by the river, and I decided to help him escape. I was supposed to find a reason he shouldn't eat me, but so far, I have been unsuccessful. He has been watching me, waiting for me to fail", she replied.
The wolf looked for the lion, gulping as he finally locked eyes with the massive creature on a nearby hill. He knew the lion could easily catch him, as well, so he had to think quickly. He walked up the hill with the antelope.
"Well, look at that. Entree and a free dessert. I knew the antelope would fail on her mission' ", the lion said with a smile on his face.
"It does seem that way, oh intelligent one, but I do wonder. How does someone as smart as you fall into a hunter's trap?", replied the wolf mockingly, covering up his fear.
The lion glowered at the antelope for telling the wolf the embarrassing story.
"I encourage you to stop talking before I change my mind and decide to have dessert first.". growled the lion.
The wolf grew more confident as he realized his plan was working. He taunted the lion, who grew increasingly irritated.
"I bet you wouldn't have been able to escape the trap if the antelope hadn't come along.", the wolf said.
"How dare you doubt my abilities?", thundered the lion. He proceeded to tell the wolf exactly how he would have escaped, but he said he wouldn't believe it unless he saw it with his own eyes, The lion consented, unwilling to compromise his pride. The three animals walked to where the trap was. The lion warily stepped into the hole, hoping his bravado would pay off. It didn't. He fell into the hole.and cursed his luck, for he was not able to escape.
The wolf laughed at him. "It is a good day, indeed", he remarked. The antelope jumped for joy.
"Thank you so much", she exclaimed. "I can finally go home."
The wolf's stomach grumbled as he turned to her with a gleam in his eye.
"Where are you going? Dinner's just getting started."
He got what he wanted in the end. Image: Pixabay
Author's Note:
The original story involves a jackal instead of a wolf, a person instead of an antelope, and a tiger instead of a lion. The tiger convinces a guy to let him out of a cage and says he won't eat him. The guy agrees, but the tiger was lying. He says the man is allowed to ask three things to justify not eating him. No one helped him, but he ran into a jackal on his way back. The jackal also came to the tiger, but pretended he didn't understand how the tiger had gotten out of the cage. In frustration, the tiger jumped back into the cage to show him, and the jackal locked him inside again. I had wanted to keep the characters animals, and I wanted to try to tell the story from another point-of-view. I also wanted to add a small twist to the end with the jackal actually eating the guy. After looking up some information, I found out that jackals don't really attack humans, so I decided to change to a wolf who ate the antelope after "saving" its life. I also changed the tiger to a lion to add more levity to that character. I'm not sure if I like the overall cohesiveness, but for now, it'll have to do. Hopefully, I'll get better as the weeks progress!
This was really good! I like the amount of dialouge and the story had me at the edge of my seat. I haven't ever read the origin story for this one, so I was never really sure what was going to happen! When the lion got himself trapped again, I thought that was genius. I really even thought the wolf was going to let the antelope go, but he ate it instead. I like the twists! I think the only thing this story could really need is a more developed scenery.
ReplyDeleteI think the story was more cohesive than you think! The wolf eating the antelope at the end was definitely a great twist, and I think it really drives home the moral of the dangers of naiveté. I'm excited to see what you write going forwards - don't be afraid to try different writing styles or focus on a different aspect of the story than the plot!
ReplyDeleteI like the story you picked. When we analyzed archetypes, I chose the trickster, and the wolf, or jackal in the original, falls right into that category. I also really like the twist you added at the end, it adds another layer of trickery to an already story full of deceit. Excellent story telling Jency, keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Jency! I really like the dialogue you have in this story. I think that you could maybe add more scenic elements, like setting description of exposition that describes where they are, to really give the story a sense of place. I do like the twist at the end and the pace of the story, it flowed well and read easily, so I'm not sure how adding setting would play into that.
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ReplyDeleteI really liked this story! It was easy to read and follow. The added dialogue was nice and I thought you did a good job portraying the characters. The twist at the end definitely surprised me. The wolf kind of seemed like he was a good one! Oh well...we all have to eat right?
Hey Jency! I really loved the way you told this story! I had not read the original story, but your author's note cleared up any questions I had. The dialogue between the characters in your story was really nicely written as well! I liked the ending because it gave me that eerie feeling and it strayed away from the typical happy ending. Good job on this story and good luck with the rest :)
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